So Sunday morning, I hemmed and hawed to Josh as I was drinking my protein shake, telling him that I was scared and anxious and that I didn't want to go. He kept encouraging me though, as he's been doing this entire time, telling me that he believes in me and knows that I will do fine. Such a good cheerleader, isn't he? I got to the box just as the previous workout was ending and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. Why was I so nervous?? One of the other girls that I'm friendly with did her first attempt at 14.4 on Friday so she shared her toes-to-bar tip with me. Following her advice, I jumped up on the bar, big kip back, threw my legs back, body leaning back, huge kip forward, big kick up, and HOLY CRAP, MY TOES JUST TOUCHED THE BAR! I added excitement and accomplishment to my bag of mixed emotions.
There was still time left before the Open workouts started so I stretched. I went for a warm-up jog. Stretched again. Paced. Stretched again. Paced some more. Looked at the door to see if I could escape unnoticed... Then it was time to start. Crap. I missed my opportunity. I set up my rower. Find the bar that I'm going to attempt to do toes-to-bar on. Set up my wallball space. And after being chastised for not thinking I'll get there, set up my barbell for the cleans. It's my turn now...3..2..1..GO! I pull as hard as I can at that rower because I don't want a whole lot of time eaten up by rowing. I hate rowing, by the way. I'd actually rather run than row. For a lot of people, it's the opposite. The 60 calories racks up fairly quickly and I'm off the rower in about four minutes. I'm more confident now, knowing that I completed that one toes-to-bar, but still uneasy about it. I have about 10 minutes left for the workout and an awesome cheering section for me. The guy that judged me gave me a piece of advice before I jumped on the bar: "small numbers get big results." Basically, focus on doing one at a time and you won't die. So I jumped up, did the same movements as before, and busted out 24 toes-to-bar. I was so happy!
No, I didn't get to the wallballs or cleans but I'd accomplished a HUGE milestone: walking in that day, I'd never done a toes-to-bar and at that moment, I had just completed a total of 25.
I've honestly amazed myself while participating in the Crossfit Open. It's made me push myself to perform at a level that exceeds, or exceeded, the one at which I had been previously. I say that my goal for this is to not come in last at my box but I need to get that out of my head. I need to do the best that I can do for ME. I can't compare myself to the girls that can to 50 pullups or the ones that can snatch 100 pounds. I'm not there...yet...and THAT is what I need to focus on. I've accomplished so much more than I ever thought possible in the seven months that I've been doing this. I've gotten stronger. Can run faster and longer. My diet has improved. I'm more confident. And, I'm going to say it, sex is better. When I started Crossfit, I had no idea how it would change my life. I've never committed to ANYTHING like I have with this. It's even surprised the hubs! I do have to say that he's been really supportive of it though. He typically takes my crazy ideas in stride but this one seems to have stuck. He tells me all of the time how proud he is of me in the things that I have done and the goals that I have achieved. I like that. And I love him.
Now I just have to get healed and focus on 14.5 - the last Open workout!! - and then the upcoming competition!
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